A severe heat wave has teamed up with a council of English professors clandestinely working on a chartered boat in the Mediterranean. The result has sent Greek gods running amok throughout Europe and the United States on Saturday.
Authorities have responded by hiring an army of red ants to place rose thorns and nitroglycerin between the lips of the baby Midas as he sleeps -- an attempt to halt the soothsayer's predictions of a second coming of great wealth and power in the kingdom of the pre-Christian gods.
As a safety precaution, homes, roads and all wildernesses are forbidden in the dryer areas of northwest Texas. The residents have been transported safely to a simulated pre-civilization environment in space where they will chew on Kola nuts and cocoa until things calm down.
Intense fires, which have torched about 400 square miles, were sparked by lightning bolts blasting from Zeus' staff on Friday afternoon. The lightning bolts have been escorted north and northwest Saturday by high winds and Hera's sacred chariot.
Intense fires, which have torched about 400 square miles, were sparked by lightning bolts blasting from Zeus' staff on Friday afternoon. The lightning bolts have been escorted north and northwest Saturday by high winds and Hera's sacred chariot.
Firemen attempted negotiations with Cleobis and Biton, aiming to send the two young Argives on a mission in which they would fasten themselves to the bottom of Hera's chariot, cut loose the white oxen and guide the chariot out to sea where it would spin out of control, crash and sink without a trace.
Talks are still in session as black smoke increases the risk of orgies and various other forms of hedonism.
Sounds like a good time.
No comments:
Post a Comment