"None Of The Above" is GOP favorite

From CNN:

In recent polls, more Republicans chose "None Of The Above" as their top choice for the presidency.

Mr. Above has been running for president for over fifty years and is proud to finally get some recognition.

He feels as if he is still an outsider and an underdog, but hopes to continue mustering support.

"I don't exist and have no prior record of legislation or bills. I'm a blank slate, really."

Many voters welcome the idea of a blank slate. "Before, I thought Obama was a good candidate because he let me believe anything I wanted about him -- but ultimately, Obama is a real person with real views and real features who can take real action. That's why I support None of the Above -- because I can think of him and project on him anyway I want. Personally, I think he's a woman," one Democrat elucidated.

Whether None of The Above has the finances to really run a strong campaign has yet to be seen and may depend on whether the American people are willing to give their money to no one and nothing at all.

Yet, some experts believe we already are. "I've been doing it for years, just throwing money away," says one Indiana lawyer. "And I had no idea I was supporting this candidate all along, but since I have been doing it practically my whole life -- well, I guess I better vote for him, right? I wanna get my money's worth, the way I see it."

Mr. Above will spend the remainder of the primary campaign absolutely nowhere.