Designing a Child For Every Mother

From CNN:

The Democratic party has opted to impose a new platform for all of its candidates and party members. The move has stirred up some controversy among both key members of the DP and a majority of the GOP.

"First off," says Al Gore, "you might not know this, but there are certain people both in and out of the Democratic party who act as a sort of king of the Democrats -- or group of kings even -- and what they say goes. It's just easier that way, we all feel."

The plan, as handed down to the Democratic party on stone tablets, requires that America design one final child to be born from every mother at once.

The blueprints for this child are only in the development stages at this point, but they are expected to drop -- covered in amniotic fluids and in full detail -- from a pulsating hole somewhere in Washington later this week.

Across the country, mothers are reacting differently. Sarah X in Seattle remarks that "I believe this will make the birthing process a lot easier," while Alice Y from Houston complains that "I can't even begin to understand how I'm going to dress 1/150,000,000th of a child on the first day of school."

Yet, a booming voice that resounds from almost every direction is deaf to such complaints say Democratic insiders. "We sit in terror as the great voice that commands us rattles off its plans for the future, mumbling as if half asleep, and there is nothing we can do to affect it other than to carry out its wishes."

An enormous stadium is being constructed in the Mojave Desert where all the women of the nation will be ushered to at just the right moment-- so that they might shoot beams of highly concentrated light from their genitals in order to create the final child. His first act is scheduled to be a televised soccer game.

"Finally claiming a place in the global football circuit is key to America's foreign relations," says the Booming Voice From Everywhere.